Every relationship has at least a little bit of conflict in it. It just isn’t normal for two people either at home or at work to get along 100% of the time. People come from different backgrounds, religions, and cultures and are brought up with varied outlooks and ideas about how things should be accomplished. So, it’s inevitable that there will be instances when you disagree with your spouse; loved one or co-worker and a struggle between the two of you will arise. It’s important to note that this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can touch off strong emotions and when handled in a healthy way it can strengthen the relationship by building trust and increasing your understanding of one another. Individuals with strong conflict resolution skills generally have high emotional intelligence, an understanding of how to forgive and move on, and the ability to compromise and not always have to be right.

When a disagreement arises and is not handled appropriately, it can lead to hurt feelings, disappointment, sadness, and resentment and can permanently breakdown relationships. It’s considered unhealthy and abusive if the argument becomes physically aggressive, verbally humiliating or if you are worried about other retaliations like stalking, sexual assault, financial punishment or someone else getting hurt because of the riff between the two of you. Honestly, chronic unresolved discord causes stress for the participants as well as everyone around them like bosses, employees, spouses and children.

The thing that sets good marriages, life-long friendships and strong leaders apart from the rest is that the people involved have learned how to harness the conflict and turn it into harmony. There are clear-cut skills to resolving conflict in a positive way. They often require creativity and the willingness to accept a compromise rather than it having to be one way. It isn’t just about getting the best resolution for me, but how it can be solved for both of us. Strong conflict resolution skills include:

1. Respond instead of react. Take some time to cool down and think about the situation. People who react in the heat of the moment often say things that they regret later and don’t necessarily mean. Utilize stress relief tools like breathing deeply or taking a quick walk outside.

2. Start with a good frame of mind. You should go into the discussion with a trustful, honest and respectful attitude. Remember that there is more than one way to solve a problem and try to understand the other’s point of view. This helps put the other person at ease and contributes to a more compromising atmosphere.

2. Clear and effective communication. Explain how you feel using “I” statements that don’t blame the other person, rather than “you”. Speak calmly, non-aggressively and respectfully by stating how “I” perceive the situation. For example, “I feel frustrated whenever you leave all the dishes on the table in the morning instead of putting them in the sink because it causes me to be late for work. It would really help me if you could rinse them and put them in the dishwasher.” Instead of, “You are such a slob and always leave the dirty dishes on the table!” This helps in the workplace as well by stating the problem without putting blame on the other person. It gives them a way to help you solve the problem without having to take the blame for it.

3. Listen closely. Being able to stay calm and listen to the other side (or both sides) of the argument helps the other person feel like you respect their point of view. An effective listening skill is to restate in your own words what the other person has said so you are clear that you understood them correctly.

4. Identify the problem and seek a solution. Discuss different ways to go about solving the problem. Sometimes this might mean taking some degree of responsibility for the issue. Evaluate possible outcomes. If you can’t decide on one, then there may be no resolution at this time. At this point either agree to disagree, or agree that this time someone will “win” and the other person will back down the next time.

5. Stay on task. Don’t bring past arguments or additional issues into the resolution of the conflict at hand.

Keep in mind that the solution you initially come up with may not always work as well as you hoped. Continue the conversation to “check-in” and see if revisions need to be made. Conflict resolution is not a perfect science but by utilizing these tools, you will have a good chance to keep your marriage together, improve your employment potential and reduce your overall level of anger and resentment.

Do you find yourself so angry with your kids that you are afraid you are going to physically harm them or yell and scream? In the old days, our parents would just slap us or give us a good spanking and walk away feeling like they solved the issue. In today’s world, we know that this is ineffective and inappropriate. One episode of an angry outburst can be overlooked with an apology, but chronic verbal abuse can result in depression, gastrointestinal problems, insomnia and headaches. Your child is dependent on you for their sense of self-worth and name-calling or physical violence leaves a negative impact that can last their entire lives.

Let’s face it, day-to-day family life is complicated and the obstacles we come across can create angry feelings for everyone. These emotions are normal but it’s how we handle them that can cause problems. If you find yourself unable to control your temper and it’s causing a serious unbalance, it’s time to learn new ways to control your reactions to create a more harmonious household. When you find yourself so angry that you know you will regret what you do or say later on, try some of the following anger control strategies for parents:

• Calm yourself down by relaxing with slow, deep breaths.
• Give yourself a time-out and go away from the situation for at least 10 – 20 minutes. This can include taking time to exercise, take a walk outside, draw, listen to music or clean something to help you relax.
• When you have calmed down, explain clearly why you are mad and listen closely to what your child is trying to tell you.
• Don’t point the finger and make generalizations. Avoid comments like “you are always forgetting to finish your homework!
• Acknowledge your child’s attributes.
• Don’t get defensive. Overlook the criticism coming your way.

Realize that it’s natural for even a great parent or caregiver to get angry. Spend some time thinking about what is triggering the parent/child anger? Is it having to drag your child out of bed every morning? Or, trying to find things before you leave the house like soccer shoes, schoolwork or the tennis racket? Instituting a plan to get organized can help you stay on schedule and lower your stress level. Assign a basket in which your child should always put his soccer stuff when he’s done with practice, a place for the racket to hang and start a routine of always putting homework in the backpack when it’s done. Getting a routine in place will alleviate the last minute panic and rage as you are trying to get out of the house on time. Also, take a look at when the particularly sensitive times of day are. Do you always seem to fight on the way home from school or the last hour before bedtime? If you are hungry, stressed or tired, don’t engage! It’s a losing battle, so staying quiet and ignoring your child’s attempts at antagonizing you will benefit everyone in the long run.

Your angry behavior can have long-term effects on your kids. As a parent, it’s your responsibility to model good coping skills. An Online Anger Management Class can help you delve deeper and educate yourself on the most cutting edge techniques and tools to get your emotions under control. It’s an easy way to learn from your personal computer at home whenever you have free time.

Anger and stress often work hand-in-hand. They both are normal and natural emotions that we all experience and are generally triggered by the perception and attitude we have about a person or situation. Both feelings activate the fight or flight response. Adrenaline pumps through the body and we feel the anxiety of needing to get away from the experience or the need to fight it. Some people feel angry because they are fearful, stressed or nervous about something or someone, while others might feel stressed because they can’t control their anger. Anger can be a cause or symptom of anxiety and stress. Either way, learning good anger management and stress reduction skills can make the difference between responding in a healthy or unhealthy way.

The consequences of chronic anger and stress are not good. The imbalance can contribute to high blood pressure, gastrointestinal issues, coronary heart disease, headaches and depression. If you are at a point in your life in which you are ready to make permanent positive change, then getting involved in an anger management program can help you overcome this behavior.

In general, individuals who are able to deal with stress and anger in their life in a constructive way have a more positive outlook in life. It starts with how we talk to ourselves. We reinforce negative beliefs by telling ourselves that things are a bigger deal than they actually are. For example, if your house is the one on the street that is decorated for Christmas, but not decked out, do you tell yourself that you are inadequate because you didn’t go as big as your neighbor or praise yourself for getting the decorations up at all? The way we talk to ourselves can help determine the level of anger or stress we will experience.

The bottom line is that we can choose to be angry or stressed, or to respond in a more positive manner. The goal of anger management classes is to provide the knowledge to understand your behavior and the tools you need to recognize and control how you respond.

Participants learn:

1. How to recognize what makes you angry and/or stressed.

2. How to manage these triggers.

3. How to be assertive by expressing yourself in a respectful and clear way without aggression.

4. How to listen and communicate to look for more peaceful conflict resolution.

5. Empathy training.

6. Specific stress management tools.

7. Improved “self-talk”.

8. Ways to improve your expectations and the way you think and react to situations.

If you can’t take another day of your high anger and stress levels, then take the opportunity to enroll yourself in an online anger management course for self-improvement purposes. Online classes provide participants with complete flexibility to login and out of the program whenever they have free time. You will also enjoy the ease and privacy of being able to stay at home to learn the material. At the end of the basic 8-hour class you will have a whole new set of tools to utilize whenever you feel your stress and/or anger levels rising.

Allowing your anger to get out of control can negatively impact every aspect of your life. Yes, anger is a normal reaction to something that is causing us harm, intimidation, fear or embarrassment. Every human being feels it at least once in a while from playground bullies, or unforeseen traffic, or a missed promotion at work, or in the form of an unruly or disrespectful child. In fact, just last night I witnessed a car cut-off another driver by pulling right in front of him, and then slam on his brakes to prove a point about something that occurred miles back. It’s unnerving to be around and can be scary as well. In the short term the behavior sometimes makes us feel better. The adrenaline rush makes us believe that we have control over someone else, or gives us the feeling of power and retribution over a situation, and even helps us to blow-off steam to relieve stress.

In the long-term, however, a chronic uncontrolled temper has many costs. First of all, people who can’t get a grip on their aggressive behavior have a higher chance of losing their jobs or being overlooked for promotions. Angry confrontations at work and at home can result in pushing others away because they are worried or frightened of your response. This isolation from friends and family contributes to a higher rate of anxiety, depression, divorce and alcohol or drug abuse. Anger can cost you physically with high blood pressure, digestive disorders, headaches and an increased chance of stroke and heart attack. Furthermore, hostile people often end the day with feelings of shame and regret for how they treated someone else. In the worst-case scenario, the aggressive behavior becomes physical resulting in injury, incarceration, lawsuits, and legal fees.

Anger is generally initiated by a combination of a lack of understanding or empathy, high stress and thoughts or memories that cause it to trigger. For example, the road rage I witnessed might have originated with someone who was mad because he’d had been delayed at work and needed to get to his child’s performance. He didn’t consider that the other driver might also be stressed because he had an elderly sick parent in the car and was driving slowly to be careful. The rageful driver was possibly thinking about how his own dad used to handle these situations and emulated it. Fortunately, it is possible to get control of your anger by holding yourself accountable for your own behavior and accepting the challenge to make necessary changes.

If you are at the point in which you are unhappy with the way your life is going then taking an online anger management class can be your resource for learning new skills. In addition, many jurisdictions across the country accept online  to fulfill court anger management mandates. Many judges realize that demanding fines and community service work is not enough. Anger classes help teach how to go about more appropriately managing stress, speaking more respectfully and effectively to others and learning empathy. They are available to access from any WIFI connected computer and can be taken at your own pace and on your own timetable. When the class is finished, the client receives a Certificate of Completion to prove to the court system that the order was legitimately fulfilled. The online format is the most affordable, convenient and cutting-edge way to create a more stable and fulfilled life.

Anger can make you feel empowered but when used in poor judgment, it can be destructive. It is usually a response to something hurtful and helps you to protect yourself from further pain or embarrassment. However, if you are often easily angered and react in an intense and confrontational way, it’s time to reevaluate your behavior. People who exhibit uncontrolled anger generally have problems coping with the person or situation at hand so they blame others to help them reduce their anger and deflect the obstacle. Unfortunately, this leads down a negative path of isolation because others are afraid of you, or you are overlooked for a workplace promotion because your boss doesn’t feel like you can handle the stress, or a breakdown of your marriage or intimate relationships. It can also result in physical violence and run-ins with the law.

Thankfully, you can learn how to control your anger utilizing research-based skills and daily life practices. To regain your composure when anger strikes there are some basic skills you can utilize:

1. Incorporate regular exercise into your life to help you relax.

2. Take deep breaths and/or give yourself a time-out from the situation.

3. Look at the other person’s point of view. Listen carefully and even repeat back what you have heard to make sure you are clear.

4. Talk to yourself in a positive way. You are doing the best you can and assume that the other person is as well. For example, there is probably an underlying reason why the waitress is acting so rudely. It could be that she just heard bad news or the chef is behind schedule.

5. Forgive. The longer you hold on to a grudge, the more long-term negative affects you are inflicting on your mind and body. You don’t need to forget, but instead stop being the victim and choose to move on with your life.

6. Don’t make any serious decisions. When you are angry it’s easy to lose sight of the overall picture. Take some time to “sleep on it” until you have cooled down.

7. Laugh out loud. Thinking about something that is funny can raise endorphins and lower the production of stress hormones.

This is the tip of the iceberg. If you are truly interested in challenging yourself and making significant behavioral changes then your options include seeing a psychotherapist for one-on-one treatment, going to traditional anger management classes at a physical site, or taking a program online. Angerclassonline.com is a highly acclaimed and convenient way to learn anger control skills. The benefit of an online course is that you don’t need to miss work, school, or family time to attend a weekly in-person class. Once you enroll, the class becomes available to you access from any Internet connected computer device, anywhere in the United States and at any time of the day or night. Participants go completely at their own pace. When the class has been successfully finished, clients receive a Certificate of Completion to show the court, social worker, attorney, employer or school.

There’s no need to resign yourself into thinking that you are destined for this unhappy lifestyle. Choose to make a change with an affordable and easy to use online anger management training program. Realize that you may have some bumps in the road but with continued commitment, it is possible to learn how to live a calmer and more stable life.