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Is Your Child A Bully?

Being bullied at school is one of the worst experiences for any child to have to go through.  If it’s just a few incidents or an entire school career, these memories can lead to a great deal of psychological damage later in life. Parents often worry about whether their kids are safe at school and whether they are going to be treated in the right way, but what we sometimes overlook is if our precious child could possibly be doing the bullying.  If you notice your child behaving aggressively towards others, don’t like the way she is treating her friends or have gotten a phone call from school, bullying behavior must be stopped and properly addressed. 

There are a number of different factors, which may cause your child to start bullying others.  As a parent, you should be aware of these factors and do your best to avoid contributing to this behavior.  First of all, a bully generally comes a home, which is lacking warmth and love.  Sometimes when parents are going through a stressful divorce, or are busy at work, they may not even realize that they have slowly withdrawn and become less involved in their kid’s lives.  Or, if children are in a high conflict household and are experiencing one parent yelling at and bullying another, they may learn that this is appropriate behavior.  If there is an older sibling who is pushing around a younger child, that child may in turn take his frustration out on someone on the playground.  Another contributing factor is if there is a lot of harsh discipline or corporal punishment in the home then it can also put the child at risk for turning into a bully. 

Peer pressure is a major factor amongst kids of all ages as their friends easily influence them.  If they see another child using aggression at school to develop a higher social status then this is something they may adopt as well.  And finally, the wide-range of media today has proven to contribute to bullying.  Children see it in the movies, in cartoons, video games, on TV shows, or experience it on the web and derive that the behavior is cool and acceptable. 

Bullies tend to have low self-esteem, which suggests that they intimidate others to make themselves feel stronger, prettier or smarter.  It is extremely important for parents to pay attention to their child’s actions and not to overlook potential bullying behavior.  If you are looking for an opportunity to put an immediate halt to this behavior in your child, then taking an online anger management class for adolescents can help with prevention.  Classes can be taken in the comfort of your own home and multiple siblings can sit together to learn the information.  Classes can be started and stopped at your convenience, so if you would like to stop and have further discussion with your child about a certain subject, then you can.  These classes are specifically geared towards children and adolescents and the programs are interesting and user friendly for there age group.  Programs are designed to teach stress and anger management skills, empathy and emotional intelligence.  These are valuable tools that they will be able to use throughout their entire lives.  

The Effects of Domestic Violence On Children

Studies show that each year about four million children between the ages of three to seventeen years are exposed to domestic violence. Further statistics also reveal that 95% of these domestic violence cases involve male partners assaulting their female counterparts. The children of the female victims therefore witness first hand domestic violence. This includes seeing the actual incidents of sexual or physical abuse, hearing fighting noises or threats from another room, observing the aftermath of such physical abuse like bruises, tears, blood, broken items or torn clothing, to being aware of the existing tension at home.

Children exposed to domestic violence will often develop an unexplainable sense of fear and anxiety. They are nervous and on alert to watch and wait for whatever might happen next. They never feel safe because they never know when the perpetrator of such abuse might be triggered to erupt. They always feel powerless and worthless because of their inability to protect their mother, their siblings and themselves. The perpetrators expect that their behavior will be treated as a family secret, not to be discussed with anybody or even amongst themselves as siblings.

Children from abusive families may look fine to everyone else but deep inside they may be in terrible pain. Their family life is unpredictable, chaotic and crazy and some may even blame themselves for the abuse their mother has to endure.  They think the abuse would not have taken place had they been brave enough to do, or say something. Some may develop anger towards their mother or siblings for somehow triggering the abuse and at times feel rage, humiliation and embarrassment. Children of abuse tend to feel vulnerable and isolated. They are constantly starved of affection, attention and approval because their moms are not able to be mentally present for them, as they struggle to survive. They therefore become emotionally, psychologically and physically abandoned.

Children living in this environment have emotional responses that may include guilt, fear, sleep, shame, sleep disturbances, depression, and anger.   This anger is directed at the abuser for perpetrating the violence and the mother for her inability to stop or prevent the violence.

Their behavioral responses may include withdrawal, acting out, and anxiousness to always please. They may show signs of being overly nervous coupled with a short attention span that may lead to poor performance or attendance in school. They may also have delayed speech, cognitive skills or motor development. Some may resort to violence as a means of expressing themselves which may lead to increased aggression and become self-injuring.  Physical responses include bedwetting, headaches or stomachaches and injuries when trying to intervene on their mother's or siblings' behalf.

Psychologists believe that when a child is raised in an abusive home, they will adopt the use of violence as the only way of resolving conflicts and problems. It is this kind of violence that they may replicate in their teen and adult life relationships and even parenting experiences. Boys raised in such homes are more likely to abuse their female partners. These children are also more prone to future drug and alcohol abuse, juvenile delinquency and post traumatic stress disorder. This is a leading predictor of adult criminality and of children deciding to run away and living on the streets.

Before someone gets seriously injured or an arrest is made, go online and take an anger management course.  This behavior can be rehabilitated.  Online classes offer an easy-to-use and inexpensive method of getting behavior under control.  They are completely private and can be taken from any web-based computer in your home.  The classes will teach coping mechanisms for stress and anger and how to overcome explosive anger.  There is no reason to go on living your life with anger and having your family live in dread.  Take an online anger management class to get started on a road to a happier life.

How To Maintain Your Anger In The Workplace

Anger management is a widely discussed topic, especially at work. If you interact with customers on a daily basis, you have most likely been exposed to some that are very difficult to handle. Unlike other places such as schools, home or social gatherings; staying calm at your business or workplace with irate customers is a delicate balance between meeting their needs, staying professional and controlling your anger and an urge to confront.  Above all, you are trying to run a business and have a reputation to maintain.

Difficult or irate customers are very common. They come in all forms; irritating, abusive, disrespectful, mean, demanding, impatient, nagging, persistent, undermining or simply arrogant. Staying composed and calm with all the work pressures while being rudely treated, can be challenging and very damaging to your business if poorly handled. The following are some tips to help on how to manage your anger when dealing with unsatisfied or angry customers in the workplace:

Listen

Whether you think the customer is just being difficult or she is genuine, learn to listen.  Give all your attention directly to the customer.  This will often calm them down as they just want to know that you seem to care and what they are saying matters to you. 

Don't let them get to you

An irate customer may make some emotional and disparaging remarks.  Some may just want to provoke you.  Don’t take what they are saying personally.

Stay calm

Tame your emotions and concentrate on active and non-defensive listening. This makes them feel like you are interested in their feelings and it calms both of you down.

Employ empathy

Remember the best way to control your feelings and stay calm is to control the customer's feelings. After you have noted the customers concerns and discrepancies, which most difficult customers will always magnify, try using disarming terms such as "I understand…" or "You are right…." these again gives them a feeling that you have been listening to them and you are willing to resolve or at least try to resolve their concerns.

Don't argue back

Some difficult customers will want to instigate arguments either to prove they are right or that they know a little more than you do, even if they don't. Disqualifying their ideas may bring up more arguments, instead, try to introduce another idea based on your professional knowledge and convince them professionally that the new idea can be even more effective. Similarly, don't try to "shut down" the irate customer by raising your voice, it only makes them worse.

Use stress management techniques

Handling multiple consecutive difficult customers in addition to business pressures can send your nerves over the edge. The more you're stressed, fatigued and tired the more you are likely to snap at an irate customer. Take breaks once in a while to de-stress yourself. A cup of coffee, fresh water, milk shake or a chat with a friend may do. Meditation and breathing techniques are equally important if you have some extra time.

Have a positive attitude

A positive attitude and mindset at your business not only keeps you stress free and healthy but also has an influence to the customers reaction and mood. Stay happy and try to be playful and friendly to the customers. A happy mood will set the tone of your interaction.

Provide a solution

After carefully listening to your customer, offer a solution if possible or at least promise to work on the issue that might be concerning them. If the customer is angry and annoyed for some reason, stop saying sorry. The term sorry has been overused and it almost becoming a cliché. Use instead a more disarming phrase such as "I apologize for….." It also helps to use their name in the apology statement; this makes them feel important, calms them down and saves you the trouble of having to deal with your own emotions.

For more tips on how to best manage your anger in the workplace, online anger control classes are an excellent source.  You can choose the length of course you would like to take, and log-in and out at your convenience.  Taking anger management classes will teach you successful skills for controlling your anger which will help you in your daily life.

Do You Lack Impulse Control When Angry?

Intermittent Explosive Disorder is a psychological condition that falls under the Impulse Control Disorder category. People who suffer from IED fail to resist aggressive impulses which in turn results in serious property destruction and even assault. Once a person has an episode, he usually threatens other people or hurt them purposely. Intermittent Explosive Disorder is actually associated to anger issues as well. Those who suffer from a lack of the ability to manage their anger  usually have accompanied IED. In fact, some experts term IED as anger attacks.

French psychiatrist Esquirol defined IED as partial insanity which is related to impulsivity. People who suffer from IED have temper problems. The very basic symptom is an urge to commit an aggressive act because of tension build up. For example, if you are a person suffering from IED and you are dining in a restaurant and overhear someone make an unpleasing remark which you are not sure who it is directed to, you will act aggressively without asking any questions. Once the episode is over, you will realize that what you did and it will be accompanied by the feeling of shame. 

The cause of IED is not yet clear just like other psychological disorders. However, recent findings show that IED may be a result of abnormalities in the area of the brain that is responsible for arousal and inhibition of behavior. In particular, a system called the serotoninergic system, is directly related to the disorder. This system regulates the production of a hormone called serotonin which then regulates behavior. Both movement and information processing is damaged when it comes to people with IED. This is why they don't think before they act. They realize their mistake after the impulsive act.

IED is a rarely diagnosed disorder, however, anger attacks are very common nowadays especially in teenagers to the early adult stage. These anger attacks are directly correlated to Intermittent Explosive Disorders. A recent study concluded that one out of twelve teenagers meet the criteria for IED. This is something that needs the awareness of parents and school administrators alike. Anger management techniques needs to be studied by everyone to ensure that the problem does not become worse. 

A study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry concluded that though Intermittent Explosive Disorder is common among teenagers, the problem is still not being addressed appropriately. The reason behind this is because people who actually have IED do not deem it as a problem. Thus, they do not seek treatment. The people around them react the same way as well by not trying to treat the problem as an actual problem. 

Anger treatment is imperative to ensure that IED is eliminated. This is a serious behavioral issue.  A person who suffers from IED could get in real criminal trouble because of people they hurt or assault.  Taking online anger management classes is a good place to begin to address any anger control behavior that presents like this.  The course content will guide you through steps to find the root of your anger, help you deal with stress, positive ways to respond to your anger and how to better regulate your emotions.  This is a private, easily accessible and low-cost way to change your life by learning to change your behavior.

Forgiveness Is A Key Component To Anger Management

Anger is a normal human emotion and it is caused by people or an event. Anger is necessary as it is a natural response to a threat or an injustice so that you can respond in a way to defend yourself. In most cases, the natural instinct is to respond in a physically violent or aggressive manner. Healthy anger is when you are able to control this natural instinct and defend yourself in a manner that is socially acceptable. You can manage your anger in three ways which are suppressing your anger, expressing it and calming yourself down using various techniques.

Some people may not know how to redirect their anger positively so that they can get the results that they want. An anger management class will help you as you will learn the techniques you can use to calm down or suppress the anger you are feeling, even though it feels really overwhelming at that instance. And you will also learn in which occasions and situations you can express your anger and how to express it in a constructive manner and when to suppress it.

You also learn what triggers feelings of extreme anger and this helps you to avoid these triggers and if you can't, how to be prepared so that you deal with your anger constructively. If you do not learn to manage your anger and to express yourself constructively, you can get into trouble with the law and other people.  You may destroy your relationships with people close to you and around you.  You can damage your health by getting high blood pressure or depression and other stress related health issues.

One of the ways that you can learn how to effectively deal with anger is by forgiving the person who has made you angry. Anger is often a reaction to injustices that you have experienced, being mistreated, from feelings of frustration, being insulted or abused and feeling helpless, feeling a loss of control in a situation or being ignored or rejected. You can forgive the person who has done all these to you and you make a conscious choice not to hold a grudge so that you can experience peace of mind.

Forgiveness is not easy especially when the person you are angry at does not seem to care or doesn't change their behavior.  Forgiveness will help you release the anger that you are holding on to and it can also improve your relationships with other people.  It will help you feel better and you will live a more fulfilling and happier life. You can begin your journey to forgiveness if you understand that the injustices that were done against you have nothing to do with you. Forgiveness carries many benefits and to learn how to truly forgive people who you are angry with, it is best to take an anger management class so that you can learn how to truly forgive so that you can remain, healthy, free of debilitating rage and negative emotions.